snake eyes

2008-01-27T11:29:00.000-08:00

2008-01-05T16:29:00.000-08:00

"blue like the sides of horses"

2007-07-31T20:57:00.000-07:00

quote from sunflower, by lyn heijinian and jack collum

uf-oh

2007-07-27T17:48:00.000-07:00

Jeepers Creepers Lyrics

new wave puritan wild cat

2007-03-27T17:51:00.000-07:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

ouch

2007-03-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

Loser- INTP
20% Extraversion, 60% Intuition, 60% Thinking, 20% Judging

Talked to another human being lately? I'm serious. You value knowledge above ALL else. You love new ideas, and become very excited over abstractions and theories. The fact that nobody else cares still hasn't become apparent to you...

Nerd's a great word to describe you, and I seriously couldn't care less about the different definitions of the word and why you're actually more of a geek than a nerd. Don't pretend you weren't thinking that. You want every single miniscule fact and theory to be presented correctly.

Critical? Sarcastic? Cynical? Pessimistic? Just a few words to describe you when you're at your very best...*cough* Sorry, I mean worst. Picking up the dudes or dudettes isn't something you find easy, but don't worry too much about it. You can blame it on your personality type now.

On top of all this, you're shy. Nice one, wench. No wonder you're on OKCupid!
Now, quickly go and delete everything about "theoretical questions" from your profile page. As long as nobody tries to start a conversation with you, just MAYBE you'll now have a chance of picking up a date. But don't get your hopes up.

I am interested though. If a tree fell over in a forest, would it really make a sound?

*****************

If you want to learn more about your personality type in a slightly less negative way, check out this.

*****************

The other personality types are as follows...

Loner - Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving
Pushover - Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging
Criminal - Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving
Borefest - Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging
Almost Perfect - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
Freak - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging
Crackpot - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
Clown - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving
Sap - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging
Commander - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving
Do Gooder - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Judging
Scumbag - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
Busybody - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging
Prick - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving
Dictator - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Extraversion

You scored higher than 99% on Intuition

You scored higher than 99% on Thinking

You scored higher than 99% on Judging

Link: The Brutally Honest Personality Test written by UltimateMaster on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

hoy, yo estoy ... naranja [y peligrosa]

2007-03-05T20:08:00.000-08:00

I am
Utrecht "Cadmium Orange" acrylic (2 oz tube)
The wall is my easel.

Which house paint are you?

i couldn't ask for a better one

2007-03-05T20:01:00.000-08:00

I am:

James Tiptree, Jr. (Alice B. Sheldon)

In the 1970s she was perhaps the most memorable, and one of the most popular, short story writers. Her real life was as fantastic as her fiction.

Which science fiction writer are you?

sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll

2007-03-03T00:09:00.000-08:00

well ... ok ... just sex.

You'll die from a Heart Attack during Sex.

Your a lover not a fighter but sadly, in the act of making love your heart will stop. But what a way to go.

'How will you die?' at QuizGalaxy.com

meow

2007-02-26T21:56:00.000-08:00

cats

lots more where that came from

spamalot

2007-02-24T08:51:00.000-08:00

play the game here and please don't hate me for the annoying "singing"

yellow dog

2007-02-23T19:24:00.000-08:00

dead rat

2007-02-23T19:21:00.000-08:00

happy new year!

2007-02-16T11:49:00.000-08:00

sunday, february 18, is the first day of the chinese 2007 lunar year and this one will be another year of the pig.

are you a pig? a rat? a sheep? a dragon?? what kind of person are you and what does 2007 have in store for you?

me? i'm a skydiving pig, of course. i need that t-shirt.

today, i feel ... a little bit crushed

2007-02-08T19:48:00.000-08:00

rays of sun on the buffalo

2007-02-07T22:17:00.000-08:00

kids in rural india are photoblogging.
Kalleda Rural School Photoblog

not bad for a vaguely buddhist humanist

2007-02-06T20:20:00.001-08:00

You know the Bible 82%!

Wow! You are truly a student of the Bible! Some of the questions were difficult, but they didn't slow you down! You know the books, the characters, the events . . . Very impressive!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes

childproof locks

2007-02-06T19:41:00.000-08:00

tribbles bark

2007-02-05T19:10:00.000-08:00

while you were out

2007-02-04T18:27:00.000-08:00

while you were out at the bars or your neighbors' houses watching the super bowl, the dog and i were out at the beach watching the sunset. barefoot.

well, ok. in the time it took me to shoot these photos my feet got so cold i could barely feel them, and the super bowl party next door was just starting up when i got home.

party like it's 1999

2007-01-27T08:20:00.000-08:00

dykes to watch out for

some days, i am ... poison ivy

2007-01-22T21:29:00.001-08:00

if i were ambitious enough, i'd play with the formatting here [does it look funny on your screen? it does on mine.] if you're ambitious enough, you can be a guinea pig in the agony lab.

Your results:
You are Poison Ivy

Poison Ivy		69%
Dr. Doom		62%
Venom		60%
Dark Phoenix		60%
The Joker		57%
Apocalypse		57%
Mr. Freeze		57%
Juggernaut		52%
Two-Face		48%
Lex Luthor		44%
Mystique		44%
Magneto		43%
Green Goblin		40%
Kingpin		38%
Catwoman		31%
Riddler		30%

You would go to almost any length for the protection of the environment including manipulation and elimination.

Click here to take the Super Villain Personality Test

today, i am ... spiderman

2007-01-22T21:25:00.000-08:00

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man		90%
Supergirl		73%
Robin		68%
Hulk		60%
Superman		55%
The Flash		55%
Green Lantern		55%
Catwoman		50%
Wonder Woman		43%
Batman		35%
Iron Man		35%

You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

i'd be a perpetual student if only i could afford it.

2007-01-09T18:04:00.000-08:00

oh ... wait ... if i should ever disappear from view, y'all can probably find me here.

su doku

2007-01-08T20:30:00.000-08:00

[i can't get enough]

on line
any way you want it

...nearest book...page 123...sentences 6-8...

2007-01-06T20:29:00.000-08:00

poachers
tom franklin

"Donald," Henry says.
"Okay, Donny, look. Give me twenty bucks and a ride, and I'll blow you. Deal?"

ok, so that was sentences six through nine. so shoot me. and actually the nearest book was a spanish/englsih dictionary and words 6-8 on page 123 are: circon [zircon], circonio [zirconium], circuir [to surround]. the book under that one was an english dictionary, words 6-8, page 123: breezy, Bremen, Brenner Pass.

found this one at black sky theory

holding a gun to your head...

2007-01-05T19:30:00.000-08:00

1. Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly?
gene kelly. i think.

2. The Great Gatsby or The Sun Also Rises?
The Sun Also Rises.

3. Count Basie or Duke Ellington?
shoot me now, don't make me choose.

4. Cats or dogs?
dogs, cats, horses, fish, turtles, snakes, hamsters, gerbils, and that's just for starters.

5. Matisse or Picasso? Matisse probably.
picasso, for the ceramics.

6. Yeats or Eliot?
rumpleteazer and j alfred prufrock.

7. Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin?
another "shoot me now."

8. Flannery O?Connor or John Updike?
O'Connor.

9. To Have and Have Not or Casablanca?
Casablanca.

10. Jackson Pollock or Willem de Kooning?
Pollock.

11. The Who or the Stones?
The Who. "Tommy".

12. Philip Larkin or Sylvia Plath?
neither. does this make up for the "shoot me nows?"

13. Trollope or Dickens?
Dickens.

14. Billie Holiday or Ella Fitzgerald?
oh gosh. another one. both.

15. Dostoyevsky or Tolstoy?
Dostoyevsky.

16. The Moviegoer or The End of the Affair?
don't know enough about either. the phrase "end of the affair" describes more parts of my life than does the phrase "the moviegoer."

17. George Balanchine or Martha Graham?
martha.

18. Hot dogs or hamburgers?
hot dogs.

19. Letterman or Leno?
johnny carson.

20. Wilco or Cat Power?
um, dunno. are we talking "roger, wilco, over and out" vs caterpillar brand heavy equipment? Cat Power, then.

21. Verdi or Wagner?
ugh. opera. neither.

22. Grace Kelly or Marilyn Monroe?
grace kelly.

23. Bill Monroe or Johnny Cash?
Johnny Cash, but barely.

24. Kingsley or Martin Amis?
don't know enough about either.

25. Robert Mitchum or Marlon Brando?
Robert Mitchum. maybe. probably neither.

26. Mark Morris or Twyla Tharp?
Twyla Tharp.

27. Vermeer or Rembrandt?
Rembrandt. i think.

28. Tchaikovsky or Chopin?
Tchaikovsky.

29. Red wine or white?
red.

30. Noël Coward or Oscar Wilde?
Oscar Wilde.

31. Grosse Pointe Blank or High Fidelity?
i'm clueless.

32. Shostakovich or Prokofiev?
Shostakovitch. Prokofiev.

33. Mikhail Baryshnikov or Rudolf Nureyev?
Baryshnikov.

34. Constable or Turner?
constable. no, turner. no, constable. please don't shoot me.

35. The Searchers or Rio Bravo?
i'm clue[less] again.

36. Comedy or tragedy?
comedy.

37. Fall or spring?
summer.

38. Manet or Monet?
neither, actually.

39. The Sopranos or The Simpsons?
I stopped watching TV with the Simpsons, so the Simpsons it is.

40. Rodgers and Hart or Gershwin and Gershwin?
both. neither. either.

41. Joseph Conrad or Henry James?
don't know henry james and didn't like heart of darkness.

42. Sunset or sunrise?
Sunset.

43. Johnny Mercer or Cole Porter?
tossup.

44. Mac or PC?
i'm a gadgethead and a geek. both. plus, commodore. plus some homemade ones in the past.

45. New York or Los Angeles?
New York. if only the climate were more like southern california, though.

46. Partisan Review or Horizon?
never heard of either.

47. Stax or Motown?
shoot me now.

48. Van Gogh or Gauguin?
Van Gogh. but not by much.

49. Steely Dan or Elvis Costello?
elvis costello. abbot and costello.

50. Reading a blog or reading a magazine?
i'll read anything.

51. John Gielgud or Laurence Olivier?
gielgud.

52. Only the Lonely or Songs for Swingin? Lovers?
Only the Lonely.

53. Chinatown or Bonnie and Clyde?
neither.

54. Ghost World or Election?
never heard of either.

55. Minimalism or conceptual art?
to look at? or to do?

56. Daffy Duck or Bugs Bunny?
pink panther. road runner.

57. Modernism or postmodernism?
i'm fuzzy on which was when.

58. Batman or Spider-Man?
Batman!

59. Emmylou Harris or Lucinda Williams?
emmylou.

60. Johnson or Boswell?
both were before my time.

61. Jane Austen or Virginia Woolf?
shoot.

62. The Honeymooners or The Dick Van Dyke Show?
dick van dyke.

63. An Eames chair or a Noguchi table?
those tables look cool, but i need to be able to see the furniture so i can get out of its way, so i guess it's the ugly chair. this one's not too bad.

64. Out of the Past or Double Indemnity?
shoot me for being clueless.

65. The Marriage of Figaro or Don Giovanni?
neither.

66. Blue or green?
purple.

67. A Midsummer Night's Dream or As You Like It?
both.

68. Ballet or opera?
ballet.

69. Film or live theater?
Live theater.

70. Acoustic or electric?
both. unapologetic.

71. North by Northwest or Vertigo?
north by northwest.

72. Sargent or Whistler?
sargent.

73. V.S. Naipaul or Milan Kundera?
i'd never heard of either till now. sigh. more to add to the reading list.

74. The Music Man or Oklahoma?
musicals beat opera. i think.

75. Sushi, yes or no?
Yes!

76. The New Yorker under Ross or Shawn?
don't know. don't care.

77. Tennessee Williams or Edward Albee?
to read the words on the page? albee. the stories? williams.

78. The Portrait of a Lady or The Wings of the Dove?
don't know either. i'm beginning to feel stoopid.

79. Paul Taylor or Merce Cunningham?
at least i've heard of merce cunningham.

80. Frank Lloyd Wright or Mies van der Rohe?
Frank Lloyd Wright.

81. Diana Krall or Norah Jones?
can't decide. could live without either if forced to.

82. Watercolor or pastel?
pastel.

83. Bus or subway?
subway. double-decker bus. feet.

84. Stravinsky or Schoenberg?
eh.

85. Crunchy or smooth peanut butter?
smooth. all-natural. organic. cis-fats for me, please, none of that hydrogenated stuff.

86. Willa Cather or Theodore Dreiser?
another shoot me.

87. Schubert or Mozart?
really, i'm not much on classical music.

88. The Fifties or the Twenties?
roaring 20s.

89. Huckleberry Finn or Moby-Dick?
huck finn. except that i've never lived in huck finn's part of the country.

90. Thomas Mann or James Joyce?
don't know mann. don't appreciate joyce.

91. Lester Young or Coleman Hawkins?
another clueless moment.

92. Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman?
Emily Dickinson.

93. Abraham Lincoln or Winston Churchill?
i'm glad we had them both.

94. Liz Phair or Aimee Mann?
don't knoe either of them.

95. Italian or French cooking?
italian. just barely.

96. Bach on piano or harpsichord?
Harpsichord. wait. Bach on the organ in a great old church.

97. Anchovies, yes or no?
Yes.

98. Short novels or long ones?
as long as there are words on the page, i'll keep reading. it's a good thing books end.

99. Swing or bebop?
bebop.

100. "The Last Judgment" or "The Last Supper"?
are we there yet?

see how some other people answered.
[and find out who all i cribbed from]

hang it up.

2006-12-30T08:21:00.000-08:00

your poll numbers have tanked.

2006-12-29T16:09:00.000-08:00

bored

2006-12-28T16:49:00.000-08:00

go away. i mean that.

2006-12-27T19:15:00.000-08:00

who goes there?

2006-12-26T19:38:00.000-08:00

today, i am ... just plain adorable

2006-12-22T20:40:00.001-08:00

You're a Meerkat!

Highly social and very protective of your friends, you only really
feel safe when you're underground. You are able to stand up for longer periods of
time than anyone you know and make an extremely good guard or watchperson. You do
have a nasty tendency to hold in your anger until it simply explodes without
warning. You owe everything you have to a magazine cover.

Take the Animal Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

no, wait ... i'm j alfred prufrock

2006-12-22T20:33:00.000-08:00

You're Prufrock and Other Observations!

by T.S. Eliot

Though you are very short and often overshadowed, your voice is poetic
and lyrical. Dark and brooding, you see the world as a hopeless effort of people trying
to impress other people. Though you make reference to almost everything, you've really
heard enough about Michelangelo. You measure out your life with coffee spoons.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

apparently it all hangs on whether or not there are villains in my life.

today, i am ... an open book

2006-12-22T20:29:00.001-08:00

You're Cat's Cradle!

by Kurt Vonnegut

You believe quite firmly that free will deserted you long ago and far
away. As a result, it's hard to take responsibility for anything. Even though you show
great potential as a leader of a small 3rd world country, the choices are all made ahead
of time. You're rather fond of games involving string. Your fear of nuclear weaponry is
trumped only by your fear of ice.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

depression is all in your head.

2006-12-22T19:46:00.000-08:00

good line.

mental mommy has been collecting 100 comments to raise awareness of mental illness.

thank you, sometimes saintly nick, for pointing the way to her blog, and thanks be to you also for my new favorite christmas attitude:

the cat has come to live with me.

2006-12-03T13:38:00.000-08:00

the funeral suit is cleaned and pressed. i've set aside a clean white shirt so that i don't accidentally wear it to work. the weather is unseasonably warm, but i've set aside a clean pair of socks instead of stockings. the gas tank is filled, and i've stashed a credit card and some $20 bills in the glove compartment.

nothing left to do now but wait.

today, i am ... thoughtfully observant

2006-11-30T22:43:00.000-08:00

at least, that's what the CIA tells me.

lord love a duck!

2006-11-29T00:08:00.000-08:00

i talk like ioz.

ok, only sorta ...

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The South
Philadelphia
The West
The Inland North
The Northeast
Boston
North Central
What'>http://www.gotoquiz.com/what_american_accent_do_you_have">What American accent do you have? Take'>http://www.gotoquiz.com/">Take More Quizzes

remains

2006-11-24T16:05:00.000-08:00

today, i am ... boringly predictable

2006-11-18T10:05:00.000-08:00

Global Personality Test Results

Stability (70%) high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic..
Orderliness (20%) low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion (33%) moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (62.8%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain.
Left Brain (37.2%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?(word pair test)
personality tests by similarminds.com

you

2006-11-11T19:45:00.000-08:00

you think you are speaking to me, but your top notes screech at me, your bass notes boom at me, and you mumble your words through a haze of clicks and whirrs, buzzes and whines, and talkradio static.

you walk toward me, your height and width increasing as you get closer, but this is the only clue you give me. i have no other way to gauge how far away you are.

you bring with you your doppelganger, almost as shadowy and substantial as you are. who moves as you move, but half a head higher, not quite half a body to the side of you, and tilted towards you a few degrees, as though listening to something that only the two of you share.

i know for a fact, because i've measured it before now, that the hallway is wide enough for us to pass, me and the both of you. the hallway even appears wider than measured, what with its phantom wall over there to the far side of your companion. still, i can't see that there's enough room for me here, and i move further to my side of the hallway, until my shoulder brushes this wall.

before you quite reach me, i can tell which you soap you showered with this morning, which shampoo, what laundry detergent you wash your clothes in, and maybe even the toothpaste you use.

mmm ...

2006-11-10T13:56:00.000-08:00

stuffed grape leaves. and retsina, admittedly an acquired taste.

you can have the ouzo, though.

update:
tonight, while everyone else was standing in line for food, i went to one of the drinks tents and ordered my hemi-decennial glass of retsina. the server took my $5, looked closely at me [i don't look at all greek], and finally asked "are you sure?"
me: yes.
him: are you sane?
me: no.
he laughed, apparently figuring [rightly] that i knew what i was letting myself in for, and handed me the glass.

yep. still tastes like fermented pine tar.

sittin' on the dock of the bay, wastin' time

2006-11-10T11:05:00.000-08:00

does anybody really know what time it is?

afghanistan banana stand

keep on the sunnyside

festivals!

2006-11-03T16:49:00.000-08:00

for all 2 of my readers, should you ever find yourselves stranded in the redneck riviera with nothing to do...

this weekend:
art
film

beginning next week:
music

games! kittens! internet ADD! [favorite time-wasters]

2006-11-03T16:36:00.000-08:00

games:
2348 feet
19.855 seconds

kittens:
kitten war
cats in sinks

where i found that game, and other stuff:
clicked

today, i am ... green [-ish]

2006-10-23T16:31:00.000-07:00

Your annual carbon emissions are 17,665 lbs.

That's equivalent to the emissions from 1.73 passenger cars.

Average carbon emissions per year, per person:
United States: 44,312
Qatar: 117,064
France: 13,668
India: 2,645
Kenya: 440

OK, now you know your current carbon load. You're ready to begin the Slate Green Challenge.

nb: i use neither heating oil nor natural gas for heat, i don't have a dishwasher, i eat meat very seldom but when i do i don't limit myself to poultry and fish, i eat a as much locally-grown food as possible, but there's not a lot of that here ... but the quiz doesn't have provisions for any of these situations

today, i am ... surprised at some of my scores, actually

2006-10-22T19:09:00.000-07:00

nb: i found myself getting irritated at the way a lot of the questions were worded, and i ended up answering too many of them "neither agree nor disagree" [or whatever the actual wording was]

from the 300-question test:

This report compares [me] from the country USA to other adult women. (The name used in this report is either a nickname chosen by the person taking the test, or, if a valid nickname was not chosen, a random nickname generated by the program.)

This report estimates the individual's level on each of the five broad personality domains of the Five-Factor Model. The description of each one of the five broad domains is followed by a more detailed description of personality according to the six subdomains that comprise each domain.

A note on terminology. Personality traits describe, relative to other people, the frequency or intensity of a person's feelings, thoughts, or behaviors. Possession of a trait is therefore a matter of degree. We might describe two individuals as extraverts, but still see one as more extraverted than the other. This report uses expressions such as "extravert" or "high in extraversion" to describe someone who is likely to be seen by others as relatively extraverted. The computer program that generates this report classifies you as low, average, or high in a trait according to whether your score is approximately in the lowest 30%, middle 40%, or highest 30% of scores obtained by people of your sex and roughly your age. Your numerical scores are reported and graphed as percentile estimates. For example, a score of "60" means that your level on that trait is estimated to be higher than 60% of persons of your sex and age.

Please keep in mind that "low," "average," and "high" scores on a personality test are neither absolutely good nor bad. A particular level on any trait will probably be neutral or irrelevant for a great many activites, be helpful for accomplishing some things, and detrimental for accomplishing other things. As with any personality inventory, scores and descriptions can only approximate an individual's actual personality. High and low score descriptions are usually accurate, but average scores close to the low or high boundaries might misclassify you as only average. On each set of six subdomain scales it is somewhat uncommon but certainly possible to score high in some of the subdomains and low in the others. In such cases more attention should be paid to the subdomain scores than to the broad domain score. Questions about the accuracy of your results are best resolved by showing your report to people who know you well.

John A. Johnson wrote descriptions of the five domains and thirty subdomains. These descriptions are based on an extensive reading of the scientific literature on personality measurement.

================================

Extraversion

Extraversion is marked by pronounced engagement with the external world. Extraverts enjoy being with people, are full of energy, and often experience positive emotions. They tend to be enthusiastic, action-oriented, individuals who are likely to say "Yes!" or "Let's go!" to opportunities for excitement. In groups they like to talk, assert themselves, and draw attention to themselves.

Introverts lack the exuberance, energy, and activity levels of extraverts. They tend to be quiet, low-key, deliberate, and disengaged from the social world. Their lack of social involvement should not be interpreted as shyness or depression; the introvert simply needs less stimulation than an extravert and prefers to be alone. The independence and reserve of the introvert is sometimes mistaken as unfriendliness or arrogance. In reality, an introvert who scores high on the agreeableness dimension will not seek others out but will be quite pleasant when approached.

Domain/Facet........... Score

EXTRAVERSION...............25

..Friendliness.............24

..Gregariousness...........23

..Assertiveness............10

..Activity Level...........12

..Excitement-Seeking.......73

..Cheerfulness.............51

Your score on Extraversion is low, indicating you are introverted, reserved, and quiet. You enjoy solitude and solitary activities. Your socializing tends to be restricted to a few close friends.

Extraversion Facets
Friendliness. Friendly people genuinely like other people and openly demonstrate positive feelings toward others. They make friends quickly and it is easy for them to form close, intimate relationships. Low scorers on Friendliness are not necessarily cold and hostile, but they do not reach out to others and are perceived as distant and reserved. Your level of friendliness is low.
Gregariousness. Gregarious people find the company of others pleasantly stimulating and rewarding. They enjoy the excitement of crowds. Low scorers tend to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. They do not necessarily dislike being with people sometimes, but their need for privacy and time to themselves is much greater than for individuals who score high on this scale. Your level of gregariousness is low.
Assertiveness. High scorers Assertiveness like to speak out, take charge, and direct the activities of others. They tend to be leaders in groups. Low scorers tend not to talk much and let others control the activities of groups. Your level of assertiveness is low.
Activity Level. Active individuals lead fast-paced, busy lives. They move about quickly, energetically, and vigorously, and they are involved in many activities. People who score low on this scale follow a slower and more leisurely, relaxed pace. Your activity level is low.
Excitement-Seeking. High scorers on this scale are easily bored without high levels of stimulation. They love bright lights and hustle and bustle. They are likely to take risks and seek thrills. Low scorers are overwhelmed by noise and commotion and are adverse to thrill-seeking. Your level of excitement-seeking is high.
Cheerfulness. This scale measures positive mood and feelings, not negative emotions (which are a part of the Neuroticism domain). Persons who score high on this scale typically experience a range of positive feelings, including happiness, enthusiasm, optimism, and joy. Low scorers are not as prone to such energetic, high spirits. Your level of positive emotions is average.

-------------------------

Agreeableness

Agreeableness reflects individual differences in concern with cooperation and social harmony. Agreeable individuals value getting along with others. They are therefore considerate, friendly, generous, helpful, and willing to compromise their interests with others'. Agreeable people also have an optimistic view of human nature. They believe people are basically honest, decent, and trustworthy.

Disagreeable individuals place self-interest above getting along with others. They are generally unconcerned with others' well-being, and therefore are unlikely to extend themselves for other people. Sometimes their skepticism about others' motives causes them to be suspicious, unfriendly, and uncooperative.

Agreeableness is obviously advantageous for attaining and maintaining popularity. Agreeable people are better liked than disagreeable people. On the other hand, agreeableness is not useful in situations that require tough or absolute objective decisions. Disagreeable people can make excellent scientists, critics, or soldiers.

Domain/Facet........... Score

AGREEABLENESS..............64

..Trust....................66

..Morality.................64

..Altruism.................29

..Cooperation..............62

..Modesty..................55

..Sympathy.................75

Your level of Agreeableness is average, indicating some concern with others' Needs, but, generally, unwillingness to sacrifice yourself for others.

Agreeableness Facets
Trust. A person with high trust assumes that most people are fair, honest, and have good intentions. Persons low in trust see others as selfish, devious, and potentially dangerous. Your level of trust is average.
Morality. High scorers on this scale see no need for pretense or manipulation when dealing with others and are therefore candid, frank, and sincere. Low scorers believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. People find it relatively easy to relate to the straightforward high-scorers on this scale. They generally find it more difficult to relate to the unstraightforward low-scorers on this scale. It should be made clear that low scorers are not unprincipled or immoral; they are simply more guarded and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth. Your level of morality is average.
Altruism. Altruistic people find helping other people genuinely rewarding. Consequently, they are generally willing to assist those who are in need. Altruistic people find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice. Low scorers on this scale do not particularly like helping those in need. Requests for help feel like an imposition rather than an opportunity for self-fulfillment. Your level of altruism is low.
Cooperation. Individuals who score high on this scale dislike confrontations. They are perfectly willing to compromise or to deny their own needs in order to get along with others. Those who score low on this scale are more likely to intimidate others to get their way. Your level of compliance is average.
Modesty. High scorers on this scale do not like to claim that they are better than other people. In some cases this attitude may derive from low self-confidence or self-esteem. Nonetheless, some people with high self-esteem find immodesty unseemly. Those who are willing to describe themselves as superior tend to be seen as disagreeably arrogant by other people. Your level of modesty is average.
Sympathy. People who score high on this scale are tenderhearted and compassionate. They feel the pain of others vicariously and are easily moved to pity. Low scorers are not affected strongly by human suffering. They pride themselves on making objective judgments based on reason. They are more concerned with truth and impartial justice than with mercy. Your level of tender-mindedness is high.

--------------------------

Conscientiousness

Conscientiousness concerns the way in which we control, regulate, and direct our impulses. Impulses are not inherently bad; occasionally time constraints require a snap decision, and acting on our first impulse can be an effective response. Also, in times of play rather than work, acting spontaneously and impulsively can be fun. Impulsive individuals can be seen by others as colorful, fun-to-be-with, and zany.

Nonetheless, acting on impulse can lead to trouble in a number of ways. Some impulses are antisocial. Uncontrolled antisocial acts not only harm other members of society, but also can result in retribution toward the perpetrator of such impulsive acts. Another problem with impulsive acts is that they often produce immediate rewards but undesirable, long-term consequences. Examples include excessive socializing that leads to being fired from one's job, hurling an insult that causes the breakup of an important relationship, or using pleasure-inducing drugs that eventually destroy one's health.

Impulsive behavior, even when not seriously destructive, diminishes a person's effectiveness in significant ways. Acting impulsively disallows contemplating alternative courses of action, some of which would have been wiser than the impulsive choice. Impulsivity also sidetracks people during projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Accomplishments of an impulsive person are therefore small, scattered, and inconsistent.

A hallmark of intelligence, what potentially separates human beings from earlier life forms, is the ability to think about future consequences before acting on an impulse. Intelligent activity involves contemplation of long-range goals, organizing and planning routes to these goals, and persisting toward one's goals in the face of short-lived impulses to the contrary. The idea that intelligence involves impulse control is nicely captured by the term prudence, an alternative label for the Conscientiousness domain. Prudent means both wise and cautious. Persons who score high on the Conscientiousness scale are, in fact, perceived by others as intelligent.

The benefits of high conscientiousness are obvious. Conscientious individuals avoid trouble and achieve high levels of success through purposeful planning and persistence. They are also positively regarded by others as intelligent and reliable. On the negative side, they can be compulsive perfectionists and workaholics. Furthermore, extremely conscientious individuals might be regarded as stuffy and boring. Unconscientious people may be criticized for their unreliability, lack of ambition, and failure to stay within the lines, but they will experience many short-lived pleasures and they will never be called stuffy.

Domain/Facet........... Score

CONSCIENTIOUSNESS..........4

..Self-Efficacy............26

..Orderliness..............0

..Dutifulness..............11

..Achievement-Striving.....30

..Self-Discipline..........19

..Cautiousness.............17

Your score on Conscientiousness is low, indicating you like to live for the moment and do what feels good now. Your work tends to be careless and disorganized.

Conscientiousness Facets
Self-Efficacy. Self-Efficacy describes confidence in one's ability to accomplish things. High scorers believe they have the intelligence (common sense), drive, and self-control necessary for achieving success. Low scorers do not feel effective, and may have a sense that they are not in control of their lives. Your level of self-efficacy is low.
Orderliness. Persons with high scores on orderliness are well-organized. They like to live according to routines and schedules. They keep lists and make plans. Low scorers tend to be disorganized and scattered. Your level of orderliness is low.
Dutifulness. This scale reflects the strength of a person's sense of duty and obligation. Those who score high on this scale have a strong sense of moral obligation. Low scorers find contracts, rules, and regulations overly confining. They are likely to be seen as unreliable or even irresponsible. Your level of dutifulness is low.
Achievement-Striving. Individuals who score high on this scale strive hard to achieve excellence. Their drive to be recognized as successful keeps them on track toward their lofty goals. They often have a strong sense of direction in life, but extremely high scores may be too single-minded and obsessed with their work. Low scorers are content to get by with a minimal amount of work, and might be seen by others as lazy. Your level of achievement striving is low.
Self-Discipline. Self-discipline-what many people call will-power-refers to the ability to persist at difficult or unpleasant tasks until they are completed. People who possess high self-discipline are able to overcome reluctance to begin tasks and stay on track despite distractions. Those with low self-discipline procrastinate and show poor follow-through, often failing to complete tasks-even tasks they want very much to complete. Your level of self-discipline is low.
Cautiousness. Cautiousness describes the disposition to think through possibilities before acting. High scorers on the Cautiousness scale take their time when making decisions. Low scorers often say or do first thing that comes to mind without deliberating alternatives and the probable consequences of those alternatives. Your level of cautiousness is low.

--------------------

Neuroticism

Freud originally used the term neurosis to describe a condition marked by mental distress, emotional suffering, and an inability to cope effectively with the normal demands of life. He suggested that everyone shows some signs of neurosis, but that we differ in our degree of suffering and our specific symptoms of distress. Today neuroticism refers to the tendency to experience negative feelings. Those who score high on Neuroticism may experience primarily one specific negative feeling such as anxiety, anger, or depression, but are likely to experience several of these emotions. People high in neuroticism are emotionally reactive. They respond emotionally to events that would not affect most people, and their reactions tend to be more intense than normal. They are more likely to interpret ordinary situations as threatening, and minor frustrations as hopelessly difficult. Their negative emotional reactions tend to persist for unusually long periods of time, which means they are often in a bad mood. These problems in emotional regulation can diminish a neurotic's ability to think clearly, make decisions, and cope effectively with stress.

At the other end of the scale, individuals who score low in neuroticism are less easily upset and are less emotionally reactive. They tend to be calm, emotionally stable, and free from persistent negative feelings. Freedom from negative feelings does not mean that low scorers experience a lot of positive feelings; frequency of positive emotions is a component of the Extraversion domain.

Domain/Facet........... Score

NEUROTICISM................27

..Anxiety..................25

..Anger....................17

..Depression...............51

..Self-Consciousness.......26

..Immoderation.............30

..Vulnerability............48

Your score on Neuroticism is low, indicating that you are exceptionally calm, composed and unflappable. You do not react with intense emotions, even to situations that most people would describe as stressful.

Neuroticism Facets
Anxiety. The "fight-or-flight" system of the brain of anxious individuals is too easily and too often engaged. Therefore, people who are high in anxiety often feel like something dangerous is about to happen. They may be afraid of specific situations or be just generally fearful. They feel tense, jittery, and nervous. Persons low in Anxiety are generally calm and fearless. Your level of anxiety is low.
Anger. Persons who score high in Anger feel enraged when things do not go their way. They are sensitive about being treated fairly and feel resentful and bitter when they feel they are being cheated. This scale measures the tendency to feel angry; whether or not the person expresses annoyance and hostility depends on the individual's level on Agreeableness. Low scorers do not get angry often or easily. Your level of anger is low.
Depression. This scale measures the tendency to feel sad, dejected, and discouraged. High scorers lack energy and have difficult initiating activities. Low scorers tend to be free from these depressive feelings. Your level of depression is average.
Self-Consciousness. Self-conscious individuals are sensitive about what others think of them. Their concern about rejection and ridicule cause them to feel shy and uncomfortable abound others. They are easily embarrassed and often feel ashamed. Their fears that others will criticize or make fun of them are exaggerated and unrealistic, but their awkwardness and discomfort may make these fears a self-fulfilling prophecy. Low scorers, in contrast, do not suffer from the mistaken impression that everyone is watching and judging them. They do not feel nervous in social situations. Your level or self-consciousness is low.
Immoderation. Immoderate individuals feel strong cravings and urges that they have difficulty resisting. They tend to be oriented toward short-term pleasures and rewards rather than long- term consequences. Low scorers do not experience strong, irresistible cravings and consequently do not find themselves tempted to overindulge. Your level of immoderation is low.
Vulnerability. High scorers on Vulnerability experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. Low scorers feel more poised, confident, and clear-thinking when stressed. Your level of vulnerability is average.

-------------------------

Openness to Experience

Openness to Experience describes a dimension of cognitive style that distinguishes imaginative, creative people from down-to-earth, conventional people. Open people are intellectually curious, appreciative of art, and sensitive to beauty. They tend to be, compared to closed people, more aware of their feelings. They tend to think and act in individualistic and nonconforming ways. Intellectuals typically score high on Openness to Experience; consequently, this factor has also been called Culture or Intellect. Nonetheless, Intellect is probably best regarded as one aspect of openness to experience. Scores on Openness to Experience are only modestly related to years of education and scores on standard intelligent tests.

Another characteristic of the open cognitive style is a facility for thinking in symbols and abstractions far removed from concrete experience. Depending on the individual's specific intellectual abilities, this symbolic cognition may take the form of mathematical, logical, or geometric thinking, artistic and metaphorical use of language, music composition or performance, or one of the many visual or performing arts. People with low scores on openness to experience tend to have narrow, common interests. They prefer the plain, straightforward, and obvious over the complex, ambiguous, and subtle. They may regard the arts and sciences with suspicion, regarding these endeavors as abstruse or of no practical use. Closed people prefer familiarity over novelty; they are conservative and resistant to change.

Openness is often presented as healthier or more mature by psychologists, who are often themselves open to experience. However, open and closed styles of thinking are useful in different environments. The intellectual style of the open person may serve a professor well, but research has shown that closed thinking is related to superior job performance in police work, sales, and a number of service occupations.

Domain/Facet........... Score

OPENNESS TO EXPERIENCE.....91

..Imagination..............79

..Artistic Interests.......66

..Emotionality.............41

..Adventurousness..........84

..Intellect................87

..Liberalism...............97

Your score on Openness to Experience is high, indicating you enjoy novelty, variety, and change. You are curious, imaginative, and creative.

Openness Facets
Imagination. To imaginative individuals, the real world is often too plain and ordinary. High scorers on this scale use fantasy as a way of creating a richer, more interesting world. Low scorers are on this scale are more oriented to facts than fantasy. Your level of imagination is high.
Artistic Interests. High scorers on this scale love beauty, both in art and in nature. They become easily involved and absorbed in artistic and natural events. They are not necessarily artistically trained nor talented, although many will be. The defining features of this scale are interest in, and appreciation of natural and artificial beauty. Low scorers lack aesthetic sensitivity and interest in the arts. Your level of artistic interests is average.
Emotionality. Persons high on Emotionality have good access to and awareness of their own feelings. Low scorers are less aware of their feelings and tend not to express their emotions openly. Your level of emotionality is average.
Adventurousness. High scorers on adventurousness are eager to try new activities, travel to foreign lands, and experience different things. They find familiarity and routine boring, and will take a new route home just because it is different. Low scorers tend to feel uncomfortable with change and prefer familiar routines. Your level of adventurousness is high.
Intellect. Intellect and artistic interests are the two most important, central aspects of openness to experience. High scorers on Intellect love to play with ideas. They are open-minded to new and unusual ideas, and like to debate intellectual issues. They enjoy riddles, puzzles, and brain teasers. Low scorers on Intellect prefer dealing with either people or things rather than ideas. They regard intellectual exercises as a waste of time. Intellect should not be equated with intelligence. Intellect is an intellectual style, not an intellectual ability, although high scorers on Intellect score slightly higher than low-Intellect individuals on standardized intelligence tests. Your level of intellect is high.
Liberalism. Psychological liberalism refers to a readiness to challenge authority, convention, and traditional values. In its most extreme form, psychological liberalism can even represent outright hostility toward rules, sympathy for law-breakers, and love of ambiguity, chaos, and disorder. Psychological conservatives prefer the security and stability brought by conformity to tradition. Psychological liberalism and conservatism are not identical to political affiliation, but certainly incline individuals toward certain political parties. Your level of liberalism is high.

today, i feel like ... disappearing

2006-10-04T16:16:00.000-07:00

Disappear

80%

Accident

73%

Gunshot

67%

Stabbed

67%

Bomb

67%

Disease

60%

Natural Causes

60%

Drowning

53%

Suffocated

47%

Suicide

40%

Cut Throat

40%

Posion

33%

Eaten

27%

How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com

today, i feel ... even more existentialist

2006-09-20T18:02:00.000-07:00

You scored as Existentialism. Your life is guided by the concept of Existentialism: You choose the meaning and purpose of your life.

?Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.?
?It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.?
--Jean-Paul Sartre

?It is man's natural sickness to believe that he possesses the Truth.?
--Blaise Pascal

More info at Arocoun's" Wikipedia User Page...

Existentialism

90%

Hedonism

60%

Utilitarianism

50%

Kantianism

45%

Strong Egoism

40%

Justice (Fairness)

35%

Divine Command

30%

Nihilism

20%

Apathy

15%

What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
created with QuizFarm.com

today, i feel ... existentialist

2006-09-19T21:58:00.000-07:00

Existentialism

70%

Hedonism

65%

Utilitarianism

50%

Strong Egoism

50%

Kantianism

45%

Justice (Fairness)

40%

Apathy

35%

Nihilism

25%

Divine Command

25%

What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
created with QuizFarm.com

if i died today . . .

2006-08-06T09:22:00.000-07:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

today, i feel ... inquisitive

2006-07-13T17:37:00.000-07:00

Big Five Test Results

Extroversion (28%) low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and private.
Accommodation (54%) medium which suggests you are moderately kind natured, trusting, and helpful while still maintaining your own interests.
Orderliness (34%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, random, scattered, and fun seeking at the expense of structure, reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Emotional Stability (66%) moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Inquisitiveness (76%) high which suggests you are very intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.

Take Free Big Five Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

today, i am ... good at making things up. duh! no brainer.

2006-07-13T16:21:00.000-07:00

Left brain dominant individuals are more orderly, literal, articulate, and to the point. They are good at understanding directions and anything that is explicit and logical. They can have trouble comprehending emotions and abstract concepts, they can feel lost when things are not clear, doubting anything that is not stated and proven.

Right brain dominant individuals are more visual and intuitive. They are better at summarizing multiple points, picking up on what's not said, visualizing things, and making things up. They can lack attention to detail, directness, organization, and the ability to explain their ideas verbally, leaving them unable to communicate effectively.

Overall you appear to be Right Brain Dominant

today, i am ... in my right mind.

2006-07-13T16:19:00.000-07:00

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (68%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain.
Left Brain (32%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

today, i feel ... relaxed, optimistic, and reclusive

2006-07-13T16:12:00.000-07:00

Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were very low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

trait snapshot:

secretive, reclusive, messy, disorganized, introverted, unassertive, rarely worries, dislikes large parties, does not like to fit in, does not need to control others, solitary, ambivalent about chaos, tough, leisurely, does not respect authority, not aggressive, observer, abstract, impractical, dislikes leadership, daydreamer, bizarre, does not make friends easily, not a perfectionist, suspicious, rarely irritated, strong physical instincts, unsympathetic at times, risk taker, submissive, weird, sarcastic, strange

today, i feel ... analyzed. rather. right down to my toes.

2006-07-13T16:07:00.000-07:00

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion		30%
Stability		60%
Orderliness		13%
Accommodation		56%
Interdependence		30%
Intellectual		76%
Mystical		36%
Artistic		70%
Religious		10%
Hedonism		16%
Materialism		50%
Narcissism		36%
Adventurousness		56%
Work ethic		76%
Self absorbed		50%
Conflict seeking		56%
Need to dominate		36%

Romantic		63%
Avoidant		70%
Anti-authority		90%
Wealth		36%
Dependency		23%
Change averse		36%
Cautiousness		50%
Individuality		56%
Sexuality		50%
Peter pan complex		36%
Physical security		50%
Physical Fitness		30%
Histrionic		16%
Paranoia		30%
Vanity		30%
Hypersensitivity		56%
Female cliche		30%

personality tests by similarminds.com

Diary of a hurricane: Katrina, from the edge

2006-05-16T21:08:00.000-07:00

or, What did you do while waiting for the hurricane? I shampooed the carpet...

Fri, Aug 26
all-hands meeting at work -- yeah, ivan was supposed to go to new orleans too, and look what happened; everybody go out to the beach this weekend and blow real hard

emergency power crews are staging just north of town, ready to roll into miami

Sat, Aug 27
shopping, at the natural foods co-op, less crowded than the "real" gorcery stores. more stuff still on the shelves; stock up on water, cereal, crackers, peanut butter, dog food, cat litter, gluten-free munchies (most of which might as well be cat litter)

yeah, i always keep a supply of hurricane stuff on hand all summer, but category 5 is different -- it used to be a mythical creature actually -- not any more

suppertime
start cooking -- and eating -- perishable foods. tonight is ground buffalo made into spaghetti sauce, and all the green salad you can eat

sun aug 28
wind started blowing today, some spitting and showers

breakfast ground buffalo spaghetti sauce, spaghetti and salad greens gone

laundry, clean the kitcehn and bathroom, last-minute shopping -- 2 trips -- duct tape (not what you think) , laundry detergent, bleach -- always get bleach before a hurricane

always go into a hurricane with a clean house and clean laundry -- things are going to smell bad enough before you get a/c, water, refrigerator back

first shopping trip, in the am, to the IGA two blocks away, drove the car anyway, cat litter and laundry detergent are heavy

2nd shopping trip, some time after lunch -- duct tape -- NOT for the windows

lunchtime -- laundry going well, cleaning kitchen and bathroom in between fraying -- or fraying in between cleaning and laundry, hard to tell which is the dominant activity

lunch ground buffalo spaghetti sauce, start in on the carrot sticks

washing machine sounds funny, it's 20-something years old, not surprisingf hat it should be feeling its age, but oh man, what a time for it to crap out! looks like it's doing ok, though, so ignore it and go back to fraying and cleaning. more fraying than cleaning, i think -- it's addicting, where cleaning is not. besides i'm waiting for the dryer.

shortly after lunch
washer and dryer both stopped, time to shuffle laundry -- fold dry clothes, move wet clothes to the dryer, pick up the next load off the floor and into the washer. you know the drill -- if you don't you should.

up from the computer! down the hall! squish squish! uh, squish squish? that explains the washer sounding funny. water water everywhere and all of it soaked into the carpet. fuck.

the storm's not even here yet and already i have a flooded apartment and wet stinky carpet. the discharge hose has worked itself out of the drain and is on the floor behind dryer, bleeding the last of the rinse water.

i have owned, and given away, two shop vacs so far in my life. mistake; don't give away your shop vacs.

off to walmart, which i usually boycott, but this is an emergency of the first water, and the walmart superstore is closest.

takes 4 walmart associates, but we finally find shop vacs in the hardware department, right next to some lamps. makes sense to me. if you saw these lamps it would make sense to you too.

paid $10 extra for the one labelled "quiet"

after sucking up 15 gallons or so of soapy stinky water out of how-did-it-get-that-filthy? carpet i'm convinced. give away all your old shop vacs and buy the "quiet" one.

moved the dryer to mop up the water behind it. hole in dryer hose, no wonder the lint has gotten so bad. no problem, i've got more rolls of duct tape than i ever had shop vacs. goddamnitalltohellanyway! where did all the freakin duct tape go?! can't even find the roll of electrical tape! packaging tape might work but i don't know about the heat tolerance of packageing tape. i've already flooded the place, don't need to set it on fire too.

i dont NEED to fix the hole in the dryer hose right now, but i'm getting too wound up sitting around waiting for a monster hurricane to maybe change its mind and turn this way. i NEED to get out and go after this roll of duct tape.

off to the iga, walking this time. on the way i meet a little old man in a one of those motorized scooter chair things, just coming out of the iga parking lot. we nod and smile, each recognizing in the other the last-minute huricane shopper.

into the store, full of people, shelves still full too. the beauty of shopping at small local stores -- the plundering hordes stay away in droves.

duct tape on the highest shelf, just outof reach, in a hurry, no tall people around, pull about a dozen rolls of tape down on my head. i'm just tall enough -- and nice enough -- to put the other 11 rolls back.

paid for and out the door. the little old man has made it to the restaurant parking lot next door. i stop to ask if he needs help. in a helium-balloon-sucking voice he answers no, there's nothing i can do to help, he's just stopped to rearrange stuff in his basket and the wind blew a few things away. i'm not sure what i was expecting but it wasn't a munchkin straight off the yellow brick road. i'm pretty sure i didn't bat an eye at the unexpected voice, though, and i offer to chase down whatever it was that blew away. no, he says, that's ok it wasnt important.

back home. dryer hose taped. laundry going.

about 4pm
as good a time as any to cook the last of the meat -- 2 sirloin steaks. eat one, save the other for breakfast. finish carrot sticks. drink milk. drink orange juice.

laundry, cleaning, walk the dog, worry about new orleans, worry about me, fray until the lights go out which is at

3:39 am monday aug 29
lights out!

7am mon aug 29
call the storm hotline at work, all hands report to duty

take the last piece of steak and the last glass of milk to work with me for breakfast; worke dhte food out pretty good this time, i'monly going to have to sacrifice one nearly-full carton of orange juice

8am
make it to work, wind has really picked up, for the first time in my entire tree-hugging life i am glad to be driving a big honking gas guzzler -- it's rocked a few times sitting at stoplights, but hasn't blown away yet.

speaking of stoplights, can't help noticing that MY neighborhood seems to be the only one without power

830am
katrina has crossed that little spit of south louisiana and is sitting just off the coast of biloxi; we're all sitting around at work watching cnn and the weather channel

9am
weather is worse, no crews going out now until the storm is over, most of us are sent home

i drive an older car, it has a few problems, not the least of which is that it's near to impossible to get parts for it. the hood is held closed with a dog collar, and i have completely forgotten about this until the wind gets hold of it. drive all the way home at about 20 miles an hour, the hood doing its bucking bronco thing all the way. but the dog collar holds.

home and parked and the hood is still leaping around. right in front of my unboarded-up sliding glass door.

the wind is really howling now, the rain is coming down in all directions, and i'm worrying about the car hood joining me in the apartment, uninvited.

two dog collars, one wire coat hanger, one sand bag, and two ripped fingers later the hood is quiet.

so is the rain -- quick take the dog out.

10am
back in the house, changed into dry clothes, called everyone and checked in told them i'm back from work they can quit worrying about THAT anyway, radio batteries turn out to be dead and replacements are the wrong size; don't really want to think about what's happening in LA and MS and anyway there's nothing i can do for them now.

exhausted

sleep

3pm
phone rings, can't get to it, it's an obstacle course in here, with all the plants and stuff taken in from the porch

call friends and parents to see if anybody is introuble and was trying to call for help, everybody ok, probabky a telemarketer

break in the rain take the dog out

people have started generators already! hate the noise.

the whole complex smells like gasoline fumes and freshly split oak firewood.

5pm
another break in the rain, longer this time, take the dog out, we all have cabin fever. lots of people out walking around, with or without dogs, people sitting out in the parking lots drinking beer

wind still blowing, branches still falling out of trees occasionally

6:00pm
neighbor two doors down is running a generator on their porch instead of out in the yard (the porches are enclosed) and the fumes are bad. when i suggest moving the generator off the porch because of the fumes, they shrug it off and the guy gives me that you're-just-a-girl-what-do-you-know-about-generators look.

6:30pm
i'm still mad about the brush-off, i'm worried about those idiots qualifying for the darwin awards, the fumes are worse, i can smell them from here, i'm worried about the building blowing up or all of us dying of co poisoning, and their generator is the loudest in two complexes. i call the cops.

7pm
well THAT generator has stopped!

11pm
have been reading and writing by flashlight and candlelight, used up half my stock of flashlight batteries already; take the dog out, then lights out, sleeping on the sofa with the sliding glass door open; it would be unbearably hot if the wind weren't blowing so hard still. as it is, it's just miserably hot

4am tuesday aug 30
wake up, something's not quite right; the wind has stopped.

7am
get to work, find out that i'm just about the only person there with no power, the rats!

6pm
i'm home! there's power! a/c! fridge! but i throw out the orange juice anyway.
walk the dog and start fraying like mad.

apologies for the unreadability, but this post was re-created from hand-written notes that were originally produced in the dark, by flashlight, and candle light

the handoff

2006-05-11T19:25:00.000-07:00

a hot and cloudless day. the sky, blue, so innocuous, still ... so bright it hurts to look at.

a minivan. a mom-car. some dark color, something incongruous, british racing green perhaps. the sliding side door open. the driver's door open.

a man, thirty-ish. round, pink, unlined and close-shaven face sweating lightly. starched, white, long-sleeved dress shirt buttoned up all the way. dark tie. pleated slacks.

the man steps out from the shadowed entrance of the restaurant, walks across the parking lot. awkwardness betrays the unseen black cloud of anger surrounding him. he reaches into the open driver's side door, and turns, with a baby on one arm and a denim bag on the other. a bag too large to be a woman's purse, too small to be a diaper bag.

holding the baby and the bag slightly away from his body, he recrosses the parking lot to enter the restaurant -- enveloped, buoyed, carried forward by the anger.

in moments he exits the restaurant and crosses the parking lot again, back to the car. as he's slamming the side door closed, i finally recognize it. the smooth, too young, too closely shaven, unlined and angry face is the face that has been botoxed by the hand of god. the face of a man secure in the knowledge that his lord will take responsibility for this too -- this handing-over the [freaking] baby to [that bitch] the ex-wife.

snake eyes

2006-04-18T08:41:00.000-07:00

the field of view is white. flat white. eggshell paint white. not quite searingly bright white.

the snakes are at eye level, and up close, the way you see them in those glass diorama boxes in zoos. there are no boxes here, only snakes.

they glide into view from the left, one snake at a time, but never quite make it to the right.

their scales are shades of yellow and tan, sandy and school-bus and sometimes mahogany. snake-like colors, mostly muted, but never quite right.

their heads are perfect pit viper shapes, moving, moving, looking all around, examining the corners and walls of the boxes that aren't there.

if their eyes were azaleas, they'd be of otamafu variegation, in shades of fuschia, magenta, and post-it note hot pink.

emanating from the iris of the closest eye is an n-scale model train, of lithographed tin, racing outward at right angles to the direction the snake is looking, rolling faster, thundering silently on photon tracks, till it becomes the size of the prototype it was modeled on.